no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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