alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
