Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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