i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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