I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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