He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
