Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
