Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
