he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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