Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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