how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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