Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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