idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
