I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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