Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
