What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
