I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
