how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
