which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize