is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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