Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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