How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
