wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
