Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
