Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
