The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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