I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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