That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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