So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
