i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
