those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
