do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
