your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize