summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
