Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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