Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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