Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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