No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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