Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
