My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
