Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
