Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
