I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
