i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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