what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
