im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
