did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
