Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize