I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
