It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh god it's open bar.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
