Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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