Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Quick, to the slutcave!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
