The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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