just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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