things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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