1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
