I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Actions speak louder than pants.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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