Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
