You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
