I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize