he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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