I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Couch. On fire.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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