reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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