Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
honey bunches of taint.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize