Screwed.edu
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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