Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
