3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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