i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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