Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
