I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
