does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
did you just send me my own nude
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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