I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
