Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize