She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
