You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
