went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize